Puede un perro viejo aprenderun nuevo idioma?

Can an old dog learn a new language?

Alright, full disclosure, I can't actually read that title in full yet, I had to use Google translate.

In 6th Grade I took Finnish, didn't learn a damn lick of it. Now if that was because I didn't care, or because i'm Lazy or just plain stupid I couldn't tell you. It was a long time ago. Looking back all I can say for sure is even if I had become fluent I'm not sure what good it would have done me.

Spanish on the other hand is a whole other story. More frequently I'm hearing people speak Spanish and I while I won't bother to find a stat (because I'm sure I could find 20 different conflicting stats)  there is more and more Spanish speakers in America and being able to communicate is a good thing on many levels, plus when there is a group of Latino ladies giggling and glancing I won't feel like I'm being talked about, Ill know it ;).

Jokes aside I had decided a while Back that I should learn Spanish but Rossetta stone was cost prohibitive and the program that my local library gave me access to was buggy and relied on voice recognition that couldn't interpret my poor pronunciation so I looked at the various free apps on Google play. I was real lucky the first app I tried was duolingo (curiously spelled with a lower case d.) The app is easy to use, Lets you move at your own pace and best of all is even fun. Within a few days I started to feel like I was making real progress and my kids had even got in on the learning.

Now in the car rather than playing the million and first game of twenty questions or eye spy one of us opens the app and reads the questions out loud and we sorta compete at answering the them.

My kids seem to be picking it up even faster than I am and my 13 year old sees it as a game that will result in an easy A if he takes a Spanish class in High school.

I'm only a few weeks into using duolingo so obviously this is kind of an "early look" review but I would recommend it to anyone wanting to learn a new language or even any one who is sick of playing silly games (I'm looking at you candy crap crush) to kill time on the bus or in line at the bank when they could be using that same time and device to learn a new skill. Everybody has those small chunks of time in the day waiting for something, and usually that time is long enough to start on an important task so it just goes to waste. this is a great way to make that time count for something instead of wasting it.

I give duolingo a tenative 9 Sexy Latino chicks making fun of my flat butt out of ten.

The shitish invasion

What would you do if a leader of the white power movement showed up in your town and started buying up property all while declaring his intentions to make your once peaceful little town into a vile hub of  racism and bigotry?   The great people of the small town of Leith, North Dakota said no fucking way!, and to me that was a wonderful thing to watch. Part of the reason I found this documentary so encouraging was that despite the lack of diversity in Leith (one black gentleman seemed to be the soul minority in town) the town united against craig cobb (and no that's not a typing mistake, this asshole doesn't deserve capitalization) and his white trash Y'allQaeda, even though they would not have found themselves in the groups cross-hairs if they had kept their heads down and their mouths shut. We all like to think that we would take an active stance against this type of bigotry and it's encouraging to see that in this small town people did just that.

I watch a lot of documentaries and Michael Beach Nichols and Christopher K. Walker have definitely added a new one to my list of favorites with "Welcome to Leith". It's not that the cinematography or direction are groundbreaking (though they are in no way lacking) or that the subject matter it self is particularly unique, its just great to see a real life story where the sides are so black and white (I swear, no pun intended) with such obvious good guys and bad guys, We don't see anyone straddling the fence or anyone accepting evil for convenience or compromising their beliefs because they are afraid to rock the boat.  I'm not naive enough to think all situations are that clear cut but all too often I see ambiguity where there should be none and people taking the path of least resistance rather than taking a stand that should be the clear moral choice to any thinking compassionate being. And in the town of Leith  (at least of what we are shown) as a whole the town took the path that would be clear to any moral person.

The "Cast" of "Welcome to Leath", if you will, is divided between the the townspeople (of which there is only a total of 24) comprising the "good guys".  the bad guys (no need for quotations here) in this story are craig cobb and his group "the national socialist movement". one heavily featured Jr Fuhrer in particular is kynan dutton, who has all the frightening intensity of laurel and hardy but none of their charm or good looks, you get the feeling this guys life could have went a totally different way had he just been able to get a girl to hold his hand before age 25.  Oh and lets not forget kynan's fiance (who's name slips my mind but isn't even deserving of a glance at my notes) who is a case study in white trash, at one point she refers to (and I'm paraphrasing here) "my fine ass fiance and his sexy ass guns". I laughed so hard I cried at that solid proof that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
This bigoted trio would be the funniest reality show cast in history if they weren't, you know, nazi's.
If people enjoy "jersey shore" or "honey boo boo" because they feel superior to those on screen, this cast could set a new low in the lowest common denominator.

If you like documentaries or like seeing tales of good VS. evil or even if you just hated Nazis, "Welcome to Leith"  should be enjoyable to most. Documentaries tend be hard to recommend in general but I don't think many people are going to feel like they wasted their time on this one.
"Welcome to Leith" Gets a 9 stars of David (haha, oh yeah) out of 10

Wait, Wtf is that? that's not a game, movie or comic.....

And no, It's not a "marital aid" either (that's the polite name for a dildo for those of you out there that don't know) This is a Styptic pencil, Which is probably news to you unless your old enough to have grown a 'stache in a non-ironic manner. Now what does this have to do with the geeky stuff I usually review? Not a damn thing but since apparently I'm the only guy under 50 that is familiar with them, we will consider this a PSA. 

I've been shaving every day for over two decades now and more often than not I cut myself at least once every time, I'm not a coke head or shaving in a ship in a storm so I'm not sure why I do but I do. And while most of you probably have a little more steady of a hand than myself, If you shave with any type of razor besides electric I'm sure you cut yourself once in a while and you probably use a tiny scrap of toilet paper or maybe a little rubbing alcohol to stop the blood flow, but you should stop that shit within the next two day's (by which time amazon will have delivered your very own styptic pencil) because you are definitely smart enough to take my advice, Right? 

Styptic pencils have been around forever, you've probably even seen one in your Grandpa's medicine cabinet when you were rooting around trying to score some viagra or long expired quaaludes (don't deny it) but didn't know what you were looking at. I have no idea why they lost popularity but they used to be available in every drugstore or grocery store in the country, Now the easiest way to get them is for 3 bucks on the internet. I remember seeing my old man use one when I was a kid and for the first few years I was shaving if I found them somewhere I'd buy several, not because I'd go through them but because they would get lost or they would get soaked and melt. for the last ten years or so I have just ordered them online. I've mentioned these to a few of my buddies and the ones smart enough to listen have loved them. And they are not just for guys, My wife steals mine when she nicks her leg or whatever and before I was married any serious girlfriends would usually adopt them as well, which in this day of extreme hairlessness is a handy thing to have, which is kinda bizarre when you figure the last time styptic pencils were popular so was having the hedge maze from the overlook hotel in a woman's pants (here'sss johny!).

Styptic pencils receive 10 out of 10 Brazilian cats  

Sam Elliot said "fuck you" to a radish...

Beyond a western legend refusing to chew any part of a vegetable aside from its ass there is not much to separate "the Ranch" from a thousand other sitcoms. That being said, Is it unwatchable? Not by a long a shot but with so many genuinely great shows on t.v. anymore I can't imagine its worth most peoples valuable watching time.
Just for arguments sake though lets say you have all the time in the world and you've already worked your way through breaking bad men, orange is the new dead and House of Sherlock or whatever else the cool kids are watching and you want to add a sitcom to your rotation to lighten things up a bit.
This year it seems like there is a lot of sitcom choices, NBC has "Crowded",  ABC has "the Real O'neals" and Netflix has "The Ranch"  and that's just off the top of my head.
Now personally I have been cursed with an over abundance of time which affords me the chance to check out more shows than most,  most people will probably check out a new show based partly on premise and partly on cast (Which is unfortunate because of the aforementioned, "The Real O'neals" while having a less recognizable cast is by far the superior sitcom) leaving Netflix entry with the most name power.
Fans of sitcoms and people who drink (Lets face it, with 3 or 4 beers in him Al Sharpton could spend a pleasant afternoon watching "last man standing) will find something to amuse them on a lazy Sunday, especially if they are fans of "that 70's show" or just enjoy Sam Elliots occasional cameo in comedies.
The first few episodes feel like the show is still getting its legs under it and the serious points in the show feel unnecessary and and ill placed in a comedy but a few shows in the writing feels a little more organic, either that or I was desensitized, I definitely never thought I'd see a day when I thought I'd be hoping to watch Ashton Kutcher Stave Sam Elliot's  head in with a coffee thermos. Oh, did I forget to mention that Elliot's character is highly unlikable? I know sitcom dads are supposed to be hard headed and have old fashion notions that broken down through the story, and generally that theme drives me nuts, but they could use a little more of that here. Elliot's character is a unsympathetic, inflexible asshole who's only interaction with his kids is guilt tripping them about not being wholly dedicated to his failing ranch. The crux of the plot is that Ashton Kutcher's character left home after high school to pursue a football career (unsuccessfully) and stayed away while the ranch and his chances of a football career dwindled. I get the feeling you are supposed to see that both the father (Elliot) and son (Kutcher) both have some valid points, But Elliot's character is so unlikeable and unsympathetic to the prodigal son that it makes it impossible to fathom anyone sticking around to tolerate that kind of abuse, And even if his callus attitude toward Kutcher's character was forgiven he displays the same attitude towards Masterson's character, Who has put aside all of his own ambitions and dreams to stay by his fathers side. It is mad clear in the course of the series that the Ranch's only real value is in the property value but Elliot's character doesn't want to sell off the land that belonged to his father, which seems noble until you consider he is maintaining his fathers legacy at the cost of his sons having the chance to build one of their own.
If this review seems unfocused and disjointed that's how my interest in the show turned which seems a pretty good indication of whether or not it's worth watching. I lost interest on and off and in the end the show was good fit for me strictly because I have lots of time and the show does have some redeeming qualities. If your a fan of the cast or like the idea of a sitcom that is a little edgy without being vulgar just for vulgarities sake give it a chance, otherwise your viewing time is better spent elsewhere.

I give "The Ranch"  a 6 out of ten, which if you break it down to a percentage (60% for those who failed remedial math) is about twice the score I give this review, but hey, you get what you pay for!

Ahh! A beta review for a Beta game...

uh,.... I am disappointed in myself..... and that's the reason I'm changing things up...  I have really been off the ball when it comes to writing my reviews again on this new site, But you know what? No one is paying me to write reviews and most likely no one is reading them (if you are I'm surprised because I haven't told anyone about this site yet, not even the wife) if You are reading this then welcome and bear with me. I'm going to be trying some new ways of reviewing these things that interest me. Maybe I'll be throwing in some random thoughts or some armchair philosophy and/or psychology (2 years of high school psych bitches!) because I just do this to keep myself sane.

Now that I've explained the reason for this Beta review (I'm disappointed in myself, remember?) of the Doom beta, we will get into something that I'm pretty sure I wasn't disappointed in.... The Doom beta that ran this last weekend on XBOX one and PS4. I say pretty sure I wasn't disappointed in it because I changed my mind dramatically after a few rounds but you'll see what I mean as we proceed .

Sunday afternoon after a thorough face palm for forgetting the day before, I downloaded and started the Doom beta, I have been seeing the ads for a while and have been blown away by the look of the game. Something about the trailers so far has vaguely given me the feeling I had the first time I saw quake, Yes I know Doom is not quake but as far as the campaign side Quake has not been Quake since the first game. You see Quake was my first love, it was the first time I had ever really dived into a real pc game and had that sort of obsession you get every once in a lucky while with a game, That all encompassing  infatuation that is constantly overshadowing your time at work, in class or even sex..
Yes sex.. When I say it was my first love do not think I am overstating it, I was sixteen years old and I am not lying that I tell you I clearly recall thinking about Quake sometimes in the middle of sex with my first long term girl friend. Oh don't look at me like that, unless you are just entering the perplexing world of engaging the opposite sex in life and death genital combat (in which case you ought not be reading a disreputable site such as this at your age, kid!) you've caught your mind wandering during the act occasionally yourself. oh man have I digressed... Anyhow, I will still need to wait until the full game is released to find out if the campaign captures my attention like the campaign in Quake.
The Multi player however is very reminiscent of the death matches in the Id software games in the 90's. Very, very, very similar as a matter of fact. The big question being, Is that what we want in 2016? A game that, while having better graphics and tighter controls, feels just like a game from 20 years ago? And now we get to why I'm only pretty sure I'm not disappointed. My first match I was looking at the game and kept asking myself what was missing, I didn't have quite the same feeling I get when I play the newest Halo or newest COD or a dozen other triple A shooters. While the Graphics are good they aren't incredibly detailed, The camera motion doesn't give you that realistic bounce that gives you a sense of actually running,  And the arenas ( the few the Beta features at least) feel like arenas, That is to say they aren't truck yards or space ports that happen to be the scene of a battle, they are a series of rooms and stages with armor and ammo strung about and weapons placed in central locations just as befitting for an altar or shrine as a . for a few minutes I felt like this was off putting and then it clicked... Suddenly I got it, Doom has reached a happy middle ground between standard AAA shooter and the hardcore PC arena shooters that (to me at least) feel like more of a test of who can get to the rocket launcher or Gauss rifle the fastest.
Players start out with load outs containing both weapons that are traditionally single shot kill weapons such as the double barrel (super) shotgun or rocket launcher and the more standard machine guns and sniper rifles. There is still super weapons available in the arena but the don't feel as crucial to victory as they do in other arena shooters. You do Have a jet pack but it is more akin to the simple double jump we have all become used to rather that the jet packs in titanfall or Black ops 3.
What this game does well is provide a great option for people who just want to jump into a couple of ten minute rounds. You don't have to be especially good at shooters to play Doom and get a few kills and have some fun. You may not come out on the right side of the K/D stats but that wont stop you from enjoying the sight of an opponent fly apart in chunks. Even my wife, who doesn't who almost never plays PvP had fun for an hour fraging other super generic space marines (not a complaint mind you, it would be Doom if the protagonist had a personality) and hopping around the arenas like a kangaroo wasted on jagerbombs. As I said before, I'm fairly sure my family will be enjoying the bloody antics of Doom's multiplayer when the full game is released, at least for a while. It's yet to be seen if this back to basics shooter will hold our attentions do to its easy to play style or if it will quickly join so many other games as dust catchers because it lacks depth.

I hesitate to give a grade to a beta until we see the finished product, especially with the beta giving us such a small sampling of multiplayer and leaving us total virgins to her main draw, which is, in my opinion her campaign, but  from the way she rubbed up against us I'll bet she is definitely worth taking under the bleachers now and then... even if she doesn't have enough going on give her you varsity jacket..

Wait, Is that Henry Rollins?

Huh, it sure is... Some times I just play the first thing I see that looks remotely interesting on netflix when I just want some thing on in the background while I work on else, Once in a while I end up pulled away from my task. Such was the case with "He never died".
It's been years since I thought about Rollins as anything other than a "media personality", long ago he ceased to be the black flag/Rollins band guy and became the guy I saw with enthusiastic opinions on various tv shows that occasionally did small parts in movies and tv shows and for what its worth I've enjoyed him in that capacity more than as a musician. I doubt Rollins will ever make a jump to leading man status in major films, I feel like he is better suited as a supporting character (He was great as the white supremacist in Sons of Anarchy) that being said He is great in "He never Died".

The movie is nothing spectacular, It was is a fun movie to watch on a bored Saturday even if you will forget the bulk of it by the time next Saturday rolls around. The standout part of the movie is definitely Rollins performance as Jack, the awkward immortal that just wants to be left to his own devices but of course never is. I'm not sure if its a testament to Rollins skills as an actor or its just a peek at a strange part of Rollins real personality but he definitely feels believable as a man who is uncomfortable with the dance of social niceties most people two step their way through daily strictly out of years of conditioning. I find it especially entertaining how Rollins character seems to consider his answers before submitting and telling a polite sociable fib. I myself (and I suspect most people) occasionally like to daydream about being honest in my interactions with the world, Some times youd rather tell some high spirited sales clerk to fuck off rather than make small talk.

Editors note: I removed about four paragraphs worth of example conversations  here where I imagined where I was honest with people in mundane encounters. Writing those examples did give me some insight on the necessities of nicety after I read over them and realized what a hostile world it would be if we were all honest. Thanks polite deception!

Rollins does a good job of portraying jack,  A man who has almost convinced himself he has no concern for anyone or anything other than himself.

When we are introduced to Jack it's apparent that Jack keeps his world fairly small and simple, He likes to sleep through most of the day with only interruptions to Eat at a diner, Play bingo and of course pick up mysterious packages from a medical intern. Jack seems to be content with this existence but of course we wouldn't have a movie to watch (aside from some strange art picture I suppose) if events didn't transpire to that would interrupt his schedule.
In this case the two events are A) Jacks daughter shows up for a nice little "oh by the way, you have a daughter" visit.  and B) Someone kidnaps the medical intern that supplies jack with the aforementioned mysterious packages.
What we get is not your normal action flick, Jack isn't hell bent on revenge or overcome with parental joy. As a matter of fact, Jack isn't even sure if he is going to get involved in either case.
One big question that a lot of the movie revolves around is that of what/who Jack is? It's clear Jack isn't your normal guy but it isn't instantly clear exactly how he is different. I imagine that the title and cover art alone makes it safe for me to say he doesn't die easily and within a few minutes of the movie I was fairly confident I was pretty sure what Jacks deal is.  Turns out I was wrong and the reveal of Jacks back story was one of my favorite parts of the movie.
There isn't a whole lot I can say here without spoiling things but I will say that "He never died" is a decent way to spend a couple of hours if it's one of those days when you have been through every category on netflix 5 times and nothing is really jumping out at you. You may forget the movie in a few weeks but I can't imagine you'll regret the time you spent watching it and if your a fan of shows like Supernatural or X-files you may even find yourself hoping for the unlikely prequel or sequel giving us more of Jacks backstory.

I give "He Never Died" 7.5 douche bags with black flag tattoos who have never listen to black flag out of ten.

Ahhh! sorry kid, you can't read this one..

I'm generally a tights and capes comic book type of guy (reading not wearing.... Hey that was just once, lets call it a phase..) but once in a while something else catches my eye. on my last trip to my local comic shop my son asked the clerk about a saga poster on the wall she started heaping praise on the book. Generally I take recommendations from sales people with a grain of salt (I'm not sure why but I always feel like they are out to sell me something..) But this time I gave the book a glance because the cover art reminded me of the excellent dc/vertigo book "Y the last man". When I mentioned this to the clerk she told me not only was it the same artist it was the same writer. While this turned out to only be half true (Brian K. Vaughan wrote both books but Fiona Staples didn't have a hand in Y) I'm glad for the mistake because it cinched my purchase.
It was funny that the clerk was telling my son about it for a few because I joined the conversation, As I said she was telling my boy what a great book it is so I picked it up figuring that it would be something my wife would enjoy and after I had read it my youngest could read it, Boy was I wrong about that.. At home while reading my monthly titles I knocked the book down and when I reached to pick it up the page that it was opened too had one tv headed human body working through the karma sutra with another tv headed human body.... Yikes... not for the kiddies, and that's why I pre-read comics and trades before my kids. That being said for those of us mature readers (giggle suppressed)
 this book has a lot to offer,
To break it down to its simplest for Saga is about an intergalactic Romeo and Juliet, born to two different warring races that have fallen for each other and procreated in the strangest of places and circumstances. Our space born fall mouthed Juliet is Alana a winged native of the planet Landfall who was a soldier reprimanded to prison guard as a punishment for refusing to kill civilians. Her position of prison guard is how she encounters her Romeo, Known to us as Marko, He is a citizen on Landfalls moon Wreath, He left as a gung ho kid inspired to fight for his people but due to circumstances that haven't yet been made clear to us he later turns himself into the enemy, declaring himself a conscientious objector, and this is how he finds himself being guarded by Alana.
The story starts sometime after Alana has helped Marko escape prison with the couple in the process of childbirth. I won't reveal anymore particulars but the tale that ensues contain a crazy mix of sci-fi and fantasy. I'm sure every reviewer of this book has set at their keyboard and tried to figure out what two big name franchises they should call this a mix of, while I won't do that I will say that the idea of mixing sci fi and fantasy isn't new (I'm looking at you "Hyperion cantos") but it hasn't been beat to death and for most readers is probably a fresh genre (one that I am striving to coin a term for).
I love the idea that space ships can grow like a tree and that a sword is reasonable match for a firearm when when the swordsman can also cast spells. The beautiful part of that is not so long ago I would have scoffed at either idea and once again I found myself being surprised that  such notions can not only be captivating but meaningful with proper handling from the writer and an open mind by the reader. Unlike lots of comics that are wildly unrealistic, Saga doesn't require that the reader continually remind himself he needs to suspend his disbelief, you just need to read the first few pages to get drawn in and then you wont question a single flying tree or talking cat.
The characters are wonderfully varied, from heroes that talk like you or I (not always pretty language but always believable) to varied antagonists that range from strictly despicable scumbags to a bounty hunter you can't help but rooting for as he puts himself at risk to do the right thing when he comes across a truly deplorable situation.
Image comics took a chance with this book and while I'm sure its not for everybody I have to say that I think its intriguing writing and style will grab the attention of readers of all types of comics. If you like Capes, Zombies or even tentacle obsessed anime girls, there is probably something in Saga that will grab you and hold you tight.....As long as your a mature and sophisticated reader like myself, now if you'll excuse me, My action figures need reposing..

I give "Saga, volume 1" 9 tv headed couples going at it doggy style out of ten.