We need Space Harrier vr! Sega if you could get on that it would be great.

In the 1980's my parents owned a small Hamburger and fry shop, think Bob's Burgers with shakes, fries and a little more elbow room. As a kid this was awesome for a couple reasons, my friends were all jealous of the fact that I could order all the burgers, fries, onion rings and shakes that I could eat and some times when my mom wasn't around (she was forever worried about cleanliness and the perception of cleanliness) we had an awesome short order cook named Greg that would let my sister and I come in the back and cook ourselves burgers and such. Beyond that we got to have class A birthday parties and there was a cast of regulars that would put Teddy and Mort to shame. One other perk that was cooler in theory than practice was free reign of the Ms. Pacman cabinet that sat in the corner. If we wrote a red s with marker on the quarter the service guy knew it was the owners kids and placed the quarter back in a pickle jar behind the counter kept full of quarters for just that reason. The real problem was in the late eighties two kids under 10 could only entertain themselves so long with Ms. Pacman. It was new enough or novel enough to hold our attention on that front and at that age I wasn't old enough to get invested in the challenge or Ms. Pacman's wicked long, sexy yellow legs (on the cabinet if not on the screen). So Ms. Pacman quickly lost its novelty in favor of Gameboy or eavesdropping on the adult talk of the regulars and the staff.
One day this all changed when I walked in and spotted something wonderfully out of place.. Our Ms. Pacman Machine was gone and in it's place sat a funny looking arcade cabinet with a flight stick...
A new cabinet was already something out of a dream... I used beg my parents to order a new cabinet and while they gave me the classic "we'll see" I was certain than as I am now the topic was never addressed with the game guy so it was already a pipe dream. But a cabinet with a steering wheel or light gun or other Gadget was too far out of reach to even trouble my naive young mind with.. I knew it would never happen. once before the Ms. P cabinet had failed and been replaced with another of the same So to walk in and see a flight stick reaching out to me and an evil dragon on the side waiting to do battle was too much.. This was a game changer and I couldn't try it quickly enough. Suddenly I found myself flying across a mis-colored chess board blasting away at robots, dragons and one eyed mammoths. then the bonus level... Enter  Uriah... in retrospect obviously a Falkor inspired Dragon who happened to be cat like as opposed to the never ending stories dog like Luck dragon.. Regardless of where the inspiration came from once you mounted the Beast you were invincible and could smash through anything on screen. I didn't understand at the time but this may have been my very first nerdgasm as I could think of nothing else for weeks. I was begging to go to work with my Mom and was crossing my fingers daily that the babysitter canceled!

As time passed so did my parents restaurant. My Mom gave birth to my baby sister and didn't have time to run a restaurant so slowly her involvement diminished until eventually they sold the place. Time passed and it was more than a fair trade. I got a great little sister that I still think the world of and my interests passed from video games (for a time) to music and movies and girls (who were often a more dangerous adversary than any one eyed mammoth or flying Medusa head).
I have occasionally thought back on Space Harrier fondly but it is a relic of it's time and doesn't seem to have a place in modern Gaming..
That is until last night.. My kids now older than I was the day I discovered Space Harrier where turned in for the night and I sat in my living room with my PsVR perched on my head thinking about the untapped potential of the hardware. Games like Rush of blood and Battlezone are very reminiscent of some of the set-in arcade games of the late 80's and early 90's and they make an awesome transition to VR but the the PsVR along with the Vive and Rift seem to lack arcade style flying games. The PsVR has a small library of any games and I spent an hour on Steam trying to find a Vive game that would let me take first person flight in an action game. Don't get me wrong, games like Eagle Flight are great and have their place but don't really satiate my desire to fly through the air blasting mutants and monsters.
Then I was watching Bob's burgers and was reminded of my own families small restaurant and the arcade cabinet that used to beckon me from it's place in the back.
Space Harrier... Imagine glancing down so see your digital legs dangling over a surreal landscape or turning your laser blaster on monsters as you fly at them with breathtaking speed..
I can think of several different control options they could implement from Gamepad to motion control to.. Dare I say it... HOTAS (Hands on throttle and stick for the uninitiated)!
Space Harrier would be a perfect fit for an arcade style VR experience. ANy one familar with the original game and modern VR would have to see it's an obvious fit.
I will now attempt to start a twitter campaign that I hope some of you will join. If you are unfamilar wit the game I urge you to check out some youtube videos and then join be in harassing sega until they get it done. I'm sure it will be that simple... Right?

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgrb-mjLaM

I am returned from my sabbatical

Those that frequently visit this space (who have obviously taken great care to cover their tracks to keep my views numbers so low) may have noticed I have not posted any new material in quite some time. That is due to my deep emergence in mucho new entertainment products and media. Today I pull myself up from this cavern of techno toys (and hopefully my head from my ass) and will begin to cover all that which I have experienced.

The majority of my time has been spent assessing not so new at this point VR products. First the entertaining and comparatively affordable Playstation VR and then the mind blowing and not even remotely affordable (when one considers the pc needed, In my case a sexy new Alienware Aurora!)
 HTC Vive. Along the way I sampled many other console and pc games and some other new toys.
 
Beyond my immersion in my boyhood entertainment wet dream I also had some issues in real life that needed tending to. Aside from that my long absence was caused by an inexcusable lack of motivation. Plainly put, I let life get me down,but to quote my favorite Marvel Mercenary,

"Whatever they did made me totally indestructible,  and completely unfuckable" So once again I have risen to write poorly worded reviews that no one will read but that will keep me busy!

Uptight white knight douche bags need not apply.

Let me get this out of the way, Watching Rain Wilson maraud through a group of zombies would be funny. Watching Rain Wilson Maraud through a school yard full of zombie children is flat out hilarious. I'm sure there is plenty of people up in arms over this movie, they will say that violence against children is never funny in any scenario. These people need to dismount their high fucking horse (first of all, don't they know that they are oppressing that noble creature and it should be running free in this metaphor rather than being slave to man human kind?) and pull the all organic recyclable stick out of their ass and turn their mind to a real problem.  I have seen a lot of reviews for this movie featuring the words "distasteful" or "shameful" and the real shame is that we live in such a politically correct, eager to be offended society that more movies like "Cooties" aren't delivering more of that best medicine (That's laughter if your particularly dense) rather than prozac and xanax, zoloft etc that the bulk of America crams down their gullets.

Sorry, Had to get that out of my system...
Cooties is the most fun I've had setting in front of the tv in a long time, The same thing that the causies are bitching about is what makes this movie so hilarious.  Of course you wouldn't hit a child in real life (no matter how much they may be begging for it!:) Thats what makes it so hilarious when Rain Wilson clotheslines one of the ravenous little zombie bastards at a full run! Think Simon Pegg's infamous granny kick in Hot fuzz, its absurdity is what makes it so funny.
If the characters had had a heart felt discussion about the necessity of violence against the pint sized fiends it would have killed the entire mood, you laugh because your not supposed to!

Cooties lets you know what its about from the first scene, the characters are caricatures and personalities are cranked to eleven from the get go, and that is a good thing. The kids are monsters even before they turn and the teachers are apathetic stereotypes and you'll love it. Cooties makes no attempt at character development or social commentary. I was worried when the opening sequence shows chicken being processed (most likely making Peta members hard as a rock before the rest of the movie makes their units crawl up inside them)and undoubtedly turning viewers off chicken for a few hours. But have no fear, if anything the scene is just used for its shock value and has no bearing on the rest of the films tone.
All of the actors play their parts well, especially Rain Wilson as Wade the PE teacher trapped in his high school glory days and Leigh Whannell as the creepy yet brilliant sex ed teacher Doug.
The script goes ahead and makes reference to some of the actors other movies, not quite breaking the fourth wall but definitely winking out the window on said wall.  I could see how a movie about children infected with a zombie virus from chicken nuggets could be tempted to play up some message about the diet of the modern American child and blessedly Cooties avoids this trapping.

Cooties is non stop laughs and gratuitous physical comedy in the form of even more gratuitous violence,  oh and did I mention the drug jokes? If you need a good litmus test to see if you or a loved one is an uptight asshole, spend a couple hours with Cooties. You will either enjoy some good laughs with your friends or enjoy some good laughs and chase of would be friends that you didn't want anyhow

Cooties gets a 10 out of 10 and gets picked first for my dodgeball team!

You are now entering a review that is seemingly out of place in this smart phone and internet laden world.... a review so out of time it can only be......

The Twilight Zone

The Twilight Zone premiered all the way back in 1959, not only before I was even a twinkle in my fathers eye, most likely before my father was even having that type of twinkle in his eye, so why am I reviewing it now? Because, it is most likely  new to anyone reading this, sure you have probably seen a few episodes. Most likely you saw it in re-runs when you were a kid and home sick or on a rainy summer day. So aside from a few classic episodes such as  "Eye of the beholder" or "Nightmare at 20,000 feet (one of two Shatner infused episodes) Most of us on the happy side of mid-life haven't stepped all the way through that iconic floating door, and trust me, if you think you seen the best the Twilight zone has to offer by peeking just your head in, you have another thing coming...

Luckily for those of us in this age of streaming, seasons 1,2,3 and 5 are available on netflix and amazon prime streaming services and you can watch all season included season 4 on hulu.
Shows that stand the test of time and hold up are few and far between and shows that seem totally unaffected by their age are almost a myth but twilight zone doesn't seem to have so much as a trick knee after almost 60 years. One thing that helps Twilight zone's endurance is that all but 6 episodes were shot on film rather than taped so the picture quality of most episodes are still beautiful especially when compared to so many other shows with the poor color at the time or even worse, color shows that were taped on video.

One prerequisite for watching Rod Serlings masterpiece is keeping a device handy to IMDB the actors. From Carol Burnette to Burt Reynolds to most of the bridge crew of a certain starship designated NCC-1701, the Twilight Zone has one of the best list of guest stars of any show to date.
One other must have before entering this strange land is time, Once you start watching those half hour episodes fly by (except the 4th season when show was moved to an hour time slot) and many of you find yourself saying "eh, I have time for one more." just ask my neighbors staring at my lawn I've neglected the last to days which is now long enough to probably be featuring a few hidden mysteries of it's own.

If you enjoy TV and  or Sci fi you owe it to yourself to take a look at this classic, you'll be surprised when you realize how many references you've missed in other show's, books and movies over the years referring to episodes of the 'Zone. Particularly if your a fan of the Simpsons or it's drunk brother in law the Family guy. The Twilight Zone is one of the rare wonderful pieces of media that you'll find yourself thinking about spontaneously for weeks afterwords and reminded of by little things most likely for decades to come.

I give The Twilight Zone 10 out of ten Scary Doors... (futurama you know I'm, looking at you!)

A comedy of tragedies...

No way.. no, that's gotta be bullshit? really?
And so on. This is what you'll be saying (and what the interview subjects should have been saying years before) when you watch this amazing documentary.
My friend Rockefeller tells the amazing story of Christian Gerhartsreiter. Every one has had a friend, family member or acquaintance that is obviously full of shit. The weird thing is once and a while you meet one of these characters that is obviously full of shit but slowly worms their way in and you might even start to believe them on face, then years later it becomes apparent that your first impression was true and you feel like an idiot. Well folks, prepare to feel like less of an idiot in comparison when you see the poor bastards caught up in Christian Gershartsreiter's (damn, that's a mouthful) lies.  The subject of this documentary makes a lot of people look like fools and it's fun to watch....well, up until you see one of this bastards poor ex wives.... or until they remind you of the murders....

I don't want to hop into too much detail but Basically My Friend Rockefeller tells the crazy, crazy story of how one German immigrant posses as everything from an English aristocrat to American royalty and fools a slew of people along the way. And the movie is surprisingly fun most of the time, even a large chunk of the people he fooled seem amused. Generally I would describe the people he tricked as victims but it's hard to do when most of them are laughing. The poor people it's not hard to describe as victims, would be those that married this bastard under false pretense or even worse, those he murdered. I found myself a little bewildered while viewing this movie because at points you catch yourself almost rooting for Christian Gerhartsreitetrsadgffsiohdgfsdfgpoih...niner, uh sorry I trailed of there, as a type of prankster and are amazed at all he pulled off. then you remember he is a life ruining bastard and murderer. Its strange how this movie seems to be two totally different stories at time and I really feel like maybe the film maker owed it to those harmed by this asshole to spend a little more time on the darker actions of Gerhartsreiter. Obviously it's more pleasant to hear about rich socialites fooled into sharing their country club with a fraud but come on... people died!
My personal thoughts aside you owe it to yourself to see this movie, it's engaging some times funny, sometimes horrifying but always fascinating 
It' s available on netflix and any fan of documentaries will be talking about this at the watercooler the next day.
 My Friend Rockefeller get's 10 solid inches of pinocchio's nose!

Late to the Game, Sorta...

Alright, I know that these Gear VR have been out for a little while but the truth is I had a hard time getting my hands on one for my particular phone (Galaxy note 4) without paying an arm and a leg.
I have tried a bunch of Google cardboard compatible headsets and while they were impressive proof of concepts I hadn't been totally blown away. I had figured that the Samsung and Oculus made Gear was just going to be a slightly nicer headset with a control pad and I was right, sorta...

The magic here isnt so much in the hardware (although the touchpad and back button are a lot more user friendly than the NFC button on other units) The real magic is in the software, Which you can't download until you are plugged into the Gear. Really if you could access the software and had a Good set of Vr glasses and a bluetooth remote I feel you could enjoy the same experience, but since I'm not a hacker I'll have to stick with the Gear VR.

As I said before, I have messed around with a bunch of the Google cardboard compatible headset all the way back to the point when you actually had to make your own out of actual cardboard.
As could be expected the fit and finish of the Gear VR is much nicer, It is comfortable and well built and since it is phone specific your device fits much better than the generic models.
I do worry if I'm not real careful (or possibly even if I am) the usb connection will break off, so I handle the device like a newborn baby and am unwilling to share it with my actual children.

One major drawback to the Gear VR is this (at least with the note 4) certain apps cause the device to get hot and require a cooldown period. Part of me thinks that this is one possible reason for this model to be called the "innovation edition" perhaps Samsung knew that early adopters are willing to put up with quirks your average consumer wouldn't. There is an included cover that clips on over your phone, I took one look at that and thought "hmm, thats not going to help my phone stay cool" and sat it aside. As it turns out, I would also be taking the battery cover off my phone and pointing a fan at my face when using more intensive apps, And I am not alone, apparently this is a common practice. Early adopter blues but not a deal breaker if your excited about vr.

I have been waiting for VR since I was a little kid, and I have done the Google cardboard and the Oculus DK2 and now this. I have to say that pound for pound The Gear VR has had the most out of the box payoff for me, Don't Get me wrong, its not as exciting as looking around my cockpit in Elite Dangerous or flinching back in Alien Isolation but I also haven't sat their cussing for hours changing settings and trying to figure out why my headset doesn't work after an update or in Alien Isolation's case actual changing a piece of code  (way easier than it sounds but still a pain in the ass, Not a hacker, remember?).

If Your really excited for VR and have been since the early 90's this is a must have. If your only slightly curious than unless you have a lot of cash to blow maybe wait a few models to jump in.

I'm giving Samsung's Gear VR Innovator edition 4 Handi capped lawn mowing men turned evil geniuses out of 5
(If you aren't old enough to recognize the reference you haven't waited your turn for VR yet!)

My world has been rocked..

I view the upcoming "Dark tower" movies with both hope and skepticism. I always fear when one of my favorite franchises is adapted to a new format and this is especially true in the case of the "Dark Tower". I read the the gunslinger when i was 18 or 18 and didn't care too much for it. Years later my little brother became obsessed with the Dark tower and to be honest I just read "the Drawing of the three" to shut him up because he was harping me non-stop, and boy was he doing me a favor.
I'm the type of guy that is probably all too effected by the stories I love. My wife frequently jokes that I should send fathers day cards to Stan Lee because Marvel comics was responsible for instilling me with my morals and beliefs. Anyhow, to get back on topic The Dark Tower ruled my thoughts for a year and is still some thing I constantly find my self thinking of. The Dark tower is truly a masterpiece that is way beyond the restrictions of any genre. Today Stephen King tweeted this mind blowing bit of info.... I won't explain this, those in the know will have their head pop just like mine just did. Those who aren't have a whole hell of a lot of reading ahead of them before they will understand it but I can promise if you love stories it will be time well spent.
Without further ado...

 For those of you that understand this, go get yourselves some cleaning products, you've got some brains to clean off your ceiling, computer and floor because your mind was just blown in a big way.
For the rest off you, Get your ass to a library or book store so can treat yourself to one of the best pieces of fiction ever!