Uptight white knight douche bags need not apply.

Let me get this out of the way, Watching Rain Wilson maraud through a group of zombies would be funny. Watching Rain Wilson Maraud through a school yard full of zombie children is flat out hilarious. I'm sure there is plenty of people up in arms over this movie, they will say that violence against children is never funny in any scenario. These people need to dismount their high fucking horse (first of all, don't they know that they are oppressing that noble creature and it should be running free in this metaphor rather than being slave to man human kind?) and pull the all organic recyclable stick out of their ass and turn their mind to a real problem.  I have seen a lot of reviews for this movie featuring the words "distasteful" or "shameful" and the real shame is that we live in such a politically correct, eager to be offended society that more movies like "Cooties" aren't delivering more of that best medicine (That's laughter if your particularly dense) rather than prozac and xanax, zoloft etc that the bulk of America crams down their gullets.

Sorry, Had to get that out of my system...
Cooties is the most fun I've had setting in front of the tv in a long time, The same thing that the causies are bitching about is what makes this movie so hilarious.  Of course you wouldn't hit a child in real life (no matter how much they may be begging for it!:) Thats what makes it so hilarious when Rain Wilson clotheslines one of the ravenous little zombie bastards at a full run! Think Simon Pegg's infamous granny kick in Hot fuzz, its absurdity is what makes it so funny.
If the characters had had a heart felt discussion about the necessity of violence against the pint sized fiends it would have killed the entire mood, you laugh because your not supposed to!

Cooties lets you know what its about from the first scene, the characters are caricatures and personalities are cranked to eleven from the get go, and that is a good thing. The kids are monsters even before they turn and the teachers are apathetic stereotypes and you'll love it. Cooties makes no attempt at character development or social commentary. I was worried when the opening sequence shows chicken being processed (most likely making Peta members hard as a rock before the rest of the movie makes their units crawl up inside them)and undoubtedly turning viewers off chicken for a few hours. But have no fear, if anything the scene is just used for its shock value and has no bearing on the rest of the films tone.
All of the actors play their parts well, especially Rain Wilson as Wade the PE teacher trapped in his high school glory days and Leigh Whannell as the creepy yet brilliant sex ed teacher Doug.
The script goes ahead and makes reference to some of the actors other movies, not quite breaking the fourth wall but definitely winking out the window on said wall.  I could see how a movie about children infected with a zombie virus from chicken nuggets could be tempted to play up some message about the diet of the modern American child and blessedly Cooties avoids this trapping.

Cooties is non stop laughs and gratuitous physical comedy in the form of even more gratuitous violence,  oh and did I mention the drug jokes? If you need a good litmus test to see if you or a loved one is an uptight asshole, spend a couple hours with Cooties. You will either enjoy some good laughs with your friends or enjoy some good laughs and chase of would be friends that you didn't want anyhow

Cooties gets a 10 out of 10 and gets picked first for my dodgeball team!