Uptight white knight douche bags need not apply.

Let me get this out of the way, Watching Rain Wilson maraud through a group of zombies would be funny. Watching Rain Wilson Maraud through a school yard full of zombie children is flat out hilarious. I'm sure there is plenty of people up in arms over this movie, they will say that violence against children is never funny in any scenario. These people need to dismount their high fucking horse (first of all, don't they know that they are oppressing that noble creature and it should be running free in this metaphor rather than being slave to man human kind?) and pull the all organic recyclable stick out of their ass and turn their mind to a real problem.  I have seen a lot of reviews for this movie featuring the words "distasteful" or "shameful" and the real shame is that we live in such a politically correct, eager to be offended society that more movies like "Cooties" aren't delivering more of that best medicine (That's laughter if your particularly dense) rather than prozac and xanax, zoloft etc that the bulk of America crams down their gullets.

Sorry, Had to get that out of my system...
Cooties is the most fun I've had setting in front of the tv in a long time, The same thing that the causies are bitching about is what makes this movie so hilarious.  Of course you wouldn't hit a child in real life (no matter how much they may be begging for it!:) Thats what makes it so hilarious when Rain Wilson clotheslines one of the ravenous little zombie bastards at a full run! Think Simon Pegg's infamous granny kick in Hot fuzz, its absurdity is what makes it so funny.
If the characters had had a heart felt discussion about the necessity of violence against the pint sized fiends it would have killed the entire mood, you laugh because your not supposed to!

Cooties lets you know what its about from the first scene, the characters are caricatures and personalities are cranked to eleven from the get go, and that is a good thing. The kids are monsters even before they turn and the teachers are apathetic stereotypes and you'll love it. Cooties makes no attempt at character development or social commentary. I was worried when the opening sequence shows chicken being processed (most likely making Peta members hard as a rock before the rest of the movie makes their units crawl up inside them)and undoubtedly turning viewers off chicken for a few hours. But have no fear, if anything the scene is just used for its shock value and has no bearing on the rest of the films tone.
All of the actors play their parts well, especially Rain Wilson as Wade the PE teacher trapped in his high school glory days and Leigh Whannell as the creepy yet brilliant sex ed teacher Doug.
The script goes ahead and makes reference to some of the actors other movies, not quite breaking the fourth wall but definitely winking out the window on said wall.  I could see how a movie about children infected with a zombie virus from chicken nuggets could be tempted to play up some message about the diet of the modern American child and blessedly Cooties avoids this trapping.

Cooties is non stop laughs and gratuitous physical comedy in the form of even more gratuitous violence,  oh and did I mention the drug jokes? If you need a good litmus test to see if you or a loved one is an uptight asshole, spend a couple hours with Cooties. You will either enjoy some good laughs with your friends or enjoy some good laughs and chase of would be friends that you didn't want anyhow

Cooties gets a 10 out of 10 and gets picked first for my dodgeball team!

You are now entering a review that is seemingly out of place in this smart phone and internet laden world.... a review so out of time it can only be......

The Twilight Zone

The Twilight Zone premiered all the way back in 1959, not only before I was even a twinkle in my fathers eye, most likely before my father was even having that type of twinkle in his eye, so why am I reviewing it now? Because, it is most likely  new to anyone reading this, sure you have probably seen a few episodes. Most likely you saw it in re-runs when you were a kid and home sick or on a rainy summer day. So aside from a few classic episodes such as  "Eye of the beholder" or "Nightmare at 20,000 feet (one of two Shatner infused episodes) Most of us on the happy side of mid-life haven't stepped all the way through that iconic floating door, and trust me, if you think you seen the best the Twilight zone has to offer by peeking just your head in, you have another thing coming...

Luckily for those of us in this age of streaming, seasons 1,2,3 and 5 are available on netflix and amazon prime streaming services and you can watch all season included season 4 on hulu.
Shows that stand the test of time and hold up are few and far between and shows that seem totally unaffected by their age are almost a myth but twilight zone doesn't seem to have so much as a trick knee after almost 60 years. One thing that helps Twilight zone's endurance is that all but 6 episodes were shot on film rather than taped so the picture quality of most episodes are still beautiful especially when compared to so many other shows with the poor color at the time or even worse, color shows that were taped on video.

One prerequisite for watching Rod Serlings masterpiece is keeping a device handy to IMDB the actors. From Carol Burnette to Burt Reynolds to most of the bridge crew of a certain starship designated NCC-1701, the Twilight Zone has one of the best list of guest stars of any show to date.
One other must have before entering this strange land is time, Once you start watching those half hour episodes fly by (except the 4th season when show was moved to an hour time slot) and many of you find yourself saying "eh, I have time for one more." just ask my neighbors staring at my lawn I've neglected the last to days which is now long enough to probably be featuring a few hidden mysteries of it's own.

If you enjoy TV and  or Sci fi you owe it to yourself to take a look at this classic, you'll be surprised when you realize how many references you've missed in other show's, books and movies over the years referring to episodes of the 'Zone. Particularly if your a fan of the Simpsons or it's drunk brother in law the Family guy. The Twilight Zone is one of the rare wonderful pieces of media that you'll find yourself thinking about spontaneously for weeks afterwords and reminded of by little things most likely for decades to come.

I give The Twilight Zone 10 out of ten Scary Doors... (futurama you know I'm, looking at you!)

A comedy of tragedies...

No way.. no, that's gotta be bullshit? really?
And so on. This is what you'll be saying (and what the interview subjects should have been saying years before) when you watch this amazing documentary.
My friend Rockefeller tells the amazing story of Christian Gerhartsreiter. Every one has had a friend, family member or acquaintance that is obviously full of shit. The weird thing is once and a while you meet one of these characters that is obviously full of shit but slowly worms their way in and you might even start to believe them on face, then years later it becomes apparent that your first impression was true and you feel like an idiot. Well folks, prepare to feel like less of an idiot in comparison when you see the poor bastards caught up in Christian Gershartsreiter's (damn, that's a mouthful) lies.  The subject of this documentary makes a lot of people look like fools and it's fun to watch....well, up until you see one of this bastards poor ex wives.... or until they remind you of the murders....

I don't want to hop into too much detail but Basically My Friend Rockefeller tells the crazy, crazy story of how one German immigrant posses as everything from an English aristocrat to American royalty and fools a slew of people along the way. And the movie is surprisingly fun most of the time, even a large chunk of the people he fooled seem amused. Generally I would describe the people he tricked as victims but it's hard to do when most of them are laughing. The poor people it's not hard to describe as victims, would be those that married this bastard under false pretense or even worse, those he murdered. I found myself a little bewildered while viewing this movie because at points you catch yourself almost rooting for Christian Gerhartsreitetrsadgffsiohdgfsdfgpoih...niner, uh sorry I trailed of there, as a type of prankster and are amazed at all he pulled off. then you remember he is a life ruining bastard and murderer. Its strange how this movie seems to be two totally different stories at time and I really feel like maybe the film maker owed it to those harmed by this asshole to spend a little more time on the darker actions of Gerhartsreiter. Obviously it's more pleasant to hear about rich socialites fooled into sharing their country club with a fraud but come on... people died!
My personal thoughts aside you owe it to yourself to see this movie, it's engaging some times funny, sometimes horrifying but always fascinating 
It' s available on netflix and any fan of documentaries will be talking about this at the watercooler the next day.
 My Friend Rockefeller get's 10 solid inches of pinocchio's nose!